The original demo and instrumental demo version of Until Now, which was originally released on April 29th, 2019, was recently re-recorded, reproduced, remastered, remixed and re-engineered at Robot Dog Studio with the assistance of a producer/co-producer duo known as Ryan Cohen and Robot, along with executive producer/co-producer October YouRain Evans, as part of an ongoing effort to revisit original demos and re-release them in better-sounding formats as an complete anthology album, slated for a 2020 release.
This was about my struggles over the years with C-PTSD, Depression, Gender Dysphoria and living life on the road for 10 years after losing my late wife to suicide and my late daughter to leukemia.
lyrics
Until now…
I’ve been lost searching for answers
Sleepless with eyes wide open
I never knew peace until I found myself here again
Until now…
I’ve been drifting away on icy seas
Never found hope on these lonely streets
Mistakes I made as I kept falling apart
Words I’ve said I meant from the heart
It was all gone until now…
There’s a light blinding me in my sleep
Restless nights in hotel rooms crying
Left on a train to Brattleboro
Never knew the meaning of home
I was too far gone until now…
Supposed to be left for dead
Lost in bottles of beer and pills
All the winters spent alone inside my head
No silence from my Post Traumatic Devils
Thought I was forever lost until now…
I finally unzipped out of this shell
I escaped this transphobic hell
Ohhh
Ohhh
Ohhh
So comfortable in my transgender skin
I wasn’t okay until I became a woman
Thin Lear's sophisticated rock music is tempered with soaring chamber pop accents and an undeniable gift for melody. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 30, 2020